Morbid's Monstrosity
by Morbid Cheshire
Summary: I really am sorry for this crap. I was bored.
1. Sunbonnets

((A/N: I was bored. Sorry.))

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything but some bubble gum and a pair of headphones.**  
Morbid Writes Batman Vignettes**  
Subtitle: Because She Was Bored  
Starring all your friendly neighborhood super villains, and our local Cowl-head. Yay!

The door to the recreation room flew off its hinges as an explosion rocked the building. Several inmates stared in wonder as Batman stepped in.

"Okay! Everyone out!" he yelled, pointing insistently towards the door.

"Batsy? You're springing us from Arkham?" A thoroughly confused Harley Quinn asked, blinking.

"Yes. Now out! Ouuuut!" Batman waved his arms wildly.

"Why the breakout?" Two-Face raised a brow, flipping his coin.

"I'm sick of having to catch you people all the time! This town has a huge police force, you know. I mean, look at the size of the police headquarters. Yet whenever you escape, I catch you! The police just manage to be there to hand you to the doctors! I'm retiring! I wanna see Gordon and his crew running around instead of me hopping buildings!" Batman finished, crossing his arms. "Now escape, damnit!"

"Neat!" Joker snickered, hopping up off the couch. "Let's go and give the police the old runaround!"

The entire population of Arkham entered Gotham at the same time and wreaked havoc. The police force was so overworked that the volunteers quit and the paid workers were killed over time. Eventually the villains took over the city, but they got into an argument about whose turn it was to rob the key points of Gotham. Eventually they all killed each other, except for Jervis, who finally bought his island and is happily selling sunbonnets to this day.

The end.


	2. Normalcy

((Morbid here with a second vignette. Bored again. Apologies in advance.))

**Vignette Number Two**  
Subtitle: Morbid is Procrastinating on Homework 

This features Jackal (my human/canine hybrid) and Nika (Raven001's delusional illusionist), and Harls & Ivy. Other assorted villains may appear.

It was a relaxing evening in the Iceberg Lounge. Jackal and Nika sat at a table near the water, planning a heist. Harley and Ivy shared a table nearby, and other Rogues appeared at random.

"So, we're going after Andrew next, right?" Jackal hissed.

"Correct," Nika replied, "But you just rudely interrupted my brother."

"Your brother's… dead… ya know…" Jackal explained, staring at her. Nika looked to her left and laughed.

"You're so funny, bro! They still think you're dead, hahahaha."

"Oh yeah, the delusions…" Jackal shrugged and removed a pink rubber ball from her pocket and gnawed on it, growling happily as she chewed boredly.

Harley and Ivy stared from their table.

"Uh…"

"Wow. Compared to them, we're almost normal!" Harley said conversationally, giggling. Ivy quickly changed the subject.

The end.


	3. Numa Numa

**Vignette Numero Tres**  
Subtitle: Morbid Has A Song Stuck in her Head 

((When I get a song stuck in my head, I cannot get it out. So, I'm having the inmates of Arkham suffer with me! Featuring basically all the Rogues. ))

Today was just like any other day in Arkham's recreation room, except for one thing- the radio was on. Yes, the staff had decided that music might help with the patients' therapy, and had placed a small antique radio on a table in the corner.

As a classical piece ended, the disk jockey came on in a burst of annoying rambling that no one paid any particular attention to.

"And since this has been our most requested song, we'll be playing it for the rest of the day!"

"Hmm. It must be a great song," Ivy observed idly.

Thus, the song began.

_Ma ia HII, ma ia HUU, ma ia HO, ma ia HAHA_

"ACK! Shut it off!" Nygma lunged for the radio. Joker tripped him, snickering.

"What song is it anyway, Eddie?"

_Alo, salut, sunt eu, un haiduc_

"The most horrible song in existence! Turn the damned radio off!"

_Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericire / Alo, alo, sunt eu, Picasso_

"Is that Romanian?" Crane wondered, looking up from a chess game with Tetch.

"SHUT OFF THE RADIO!" Nygma demanded, flailing his arms. Joker rolled his eyes.

"Yeesh, Ed, lighten up." Strolling casually over to the radio, Joker tried to turn the dial on the ancient machine. "Uh…" He struggled with it. "Hey Eddie, guess what?"

_Ti-am dat beep si sunt voinic / Dar sa stii, nu-ti cer nimic_

"Why haven't you turned it off yet?" Nygma whined irritatedly.

"Well, I would if the dial would turn! It's stuck!"

"What do you mean, 'it's stuck?'" Ivy asked. "Nygma's right, the song is irritating."

"Yeah, but the dial is STUCK!" Joker glared. "Someone else try it then!"

_Vrei sa pleci dar nu-mã, nu-mã iei_

"Gah! I hate this song!" Nygma covered his ears as Ivy stood.

"Oh, for heaven's sake…" She too tried to turn the dial. "For once, Joker's right. The dial won't turn."

_Nu-mã, nu-ma iei, nu-mã, nu-mã, nu-mã iei_

"My god, we'll have to listen to this all day!" Crane murmured in horror, staring at the radio. Tetch gulped.

_Chipul tãu si dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de ochii tãi._

-One hour later-_  
_

When the guards finally quelled the fight and separated the inmates, they were amazed that none were injured at all, except for a scratch here or there, and all accidental. Regrettably, there was one casualty—the antique radio was never heard from again.

The end.

((A/N: Soda to all those who recognized the song. :3))


End file.
